The mafiaa wants you!

Wanna join the axis of evil and become the mafiaa's unscrupulous hired hand? Do you get turned on by the power of ruining ordinary people's lives? Would you sell your grandmother if paid enough? Are you a sworn enemy of the Internet, free speech, civil liberties and the constitution?

Then boy have I got the job for you. The weasels at Danowsky & Partners are looking for a legal practitioner, so here's your chance to sell your soul for what I can only assume has to be a shitload of money:

Danowsky & Partners är en advokatbyrå med inriktning på affärsjuridik och processer. Vi strävar efter att lämna en rak, enkel och resultatorienterad rådgivning i komplicerade affärsjuridiska frågor och processer. Det sker genom personlig omsorg, lyhördhet för klienternas intressen och ett starkt engagemang i varje ärende.

För tillträde under hösten söker vi nu ytterligare biträdande jurister med tingsmeritering eller motsvarande erfarenhet. Även du som har några års ytterligare erfarenhet från annan advokatbyrå är givetvis välkommen att söka. Vi ställer höga krav men erbjuder samtidigt varierande och utmanande arbetsuppgifter, bra utvecklingsmöjligheter och attraktiva villkor.

Ring gärna advokat Ann Nilsson på tel 08-614 64 00 eller gå in på vår hemsida, www.danowsky.se om du vill veta mer. Ansökan med kopior på sedvanliga betyg och intyg skickas så snart som möjligt och senast den 18 september till emma.hjartberg@danowsky.se. Det går också bra att skicka ansökan per post till Danowsky & Partners, Box 16097, 103 22 Stockholm.

And for those of you who are not familiar with the Swedish language, let me give you a quick translation:

Danowsky & Partners is a law firm specializing in blackmailing, harassment and threats. We strive to squeeze the most money out of our opponents in any way possible, with no regard to ethics or moral. We are proud of our excellent connections within the Government, the police and the courts of law that make it possible for us to tailor new laws to suit us and our clients, and also lets us adapt or ignore the existing laws, all to our advantage, when needed. This way we can guarantee you that we never lose a case. Ever.

We are looking for a legal practitioner to join our firm this fall. Our expectations of you are high, but at the same time we can offer you a high salary and a wide range of challenging tasks, including extortion, badgering, gagging the freedom of speech and dismantling the Internet at any cost.

Disclaimer: This translation may not be correct to the letter, but I think it captures the essence of the ad pretty well. So, what are you waiting for? Send them your resume today and embark on a long and successful career of tyranny and terror.

Shooting a duck with heavy artillery

So, the entertainment mafiaa and Stockholm tingsrätt have taken a major step in killing the free Internet in Sweden and turning it into a one-way pay-per-view channel, all in the name of stopping a few copyright infringements. More or less like using heavy artillery to kill a duck.

How well have they succeeded? Pretty well when it comes to contradicting existing laws and setting a new and bizarre precedent.

Not so well when it comes to actually stopping The Pirate Bay:


Much like the use of heavy artillery would cause a lot of damage without necessarily hitting the duck, it took The Pirate Bay only a few hours to get online again, and yet a few hours for DNS-servers around the world to get up to date with their new IP-addresses. A minor inconvenience. However, the damage inflicted on the free Internet in Sweden by Stockholm tingsrätt and that damn mafiaa may very well be irreparable. Good job, you absolute morons.