Rednex FTW

Never thought I'd say this, but after reading this article on Newsmill I've found a new respect for the Rednex-guys. Hell, I might even consider donating some money, just because they make such a great statement against the "axis of evil".

Plotting new evil

The "axis of evil" are gathered in the White House and plotting new evil in collaboration with the US government. What kind of insanity can we expect as an outcome of this meeting? More censorship? More oppressive legislation? More "guilty until proven innocent"?

Among those expected are Sony's Michael Lynton, Warner Bros.' Barry Meyer, Viacom's Philippe Dauman, NBC Universal's Jeffrey Zucker, Warner Music Group's Edgar Bronfman, Harper Collins CEO Brian Murray, Universal Music Group's Zachary Horowitz, the MPAA's Dan Glickman, the RIAA's Mitch Bainwol, IATSE's international president Matthew Leob, AFTRA'S Kim Roberts Hedgepeth, DGA president Taylor Hackford, DGA exec director Jay Roth and SAG's David White.

Yup, the whole "family" is here, ready to take on new acts of extortion, threats, bullying and corruption. In more civilized countries these bullies are actually convicted for their crime instead of given a carte blanche by the government to do whatever they want. Well, I guess if they refuse to give the "family" this carte blanche at this point they'll each receive a friendly reminder in the middle of the night, consisting of a severed horse head or something.

And why does it come as no surprise that there's no-one from the consumer and human rights side present at this meeting? Goddamn criminals the lot of them.

The mafiaa wants you!

Wanna join the axis of evil and become the mafiaa's unscrupulous hired hand? Do you get turned on by the power of ruining ordinary people's lives? Would you sell your grandmother if paid enough? Are you a sworn enemy of the Internet, free speech, civil liberties and the constitution?

Then boy have I got the job for you. The weasels at Danowsky & Partners are looking for a legal practitioner, so here's your chance to sell your soul for what I can only assume has to be a shitload of money:

Danowsky & Partners är en advokatbyrå med inriktning på affärsjuridik och processer. Vi strävar efter att lämna en rak, enkel och resultatorienterad rådgivning i komplicerade affärsjuridiska frågor och processer. Det sker genom personlig omsorg, lyhördhet för klienternas intressen och ett starkt engagemang i varje ärende.

För tillträde under hösten söker vi nu ytterligare biträdande jurister med tingsmeritering eller motsvarande erfarenhet. Även du som har några års ytterligare erfarenhet från annan advokatbyrå är givetvis välkommen att söka. Vi ställer höga krav men erbjuder samtidigt varierande och utmanande arbetsuppgifter, bra utvecklingsmöjligheter och attraktiva villkor.

Ring gärna advokat Ann Nilsson på tel 08-614 64 00 eller gå in på vår hemsida, www.danowsky.se om du vill veta mer. Ansökan med kopior på sedvanliga betyg och intyg skickas så snart som möjligt och senast den 18 september till emma.hjartberg@danowsky.se. Det går också bra att skicka ansökan per post till Danowsky & Partners, Box 16097, 103 22 Stockholm.

And for those of you who are not familiar with the Swedish language, let me give you a quick translation:

Danowsky & Partners is a law firm specializing in blackmailing, harassment and threats. We strive to squeeze the most money out of our opponents in any way possible, with no regard to ethics or moral. We are proud of our excellent connections within the Government, the police and the courts of law that make it possible for us to tailor new laws to suit us and our clients, and also lets us adapt or ignore the existing laws, all to our advantage, when needed. This way we can guarantee you that we never lose a case. Ever.

We are looking for a legal practitioner to join our firm this fall. Our expectations of you are high, but at the same time we can offer you a high salary and a wide range of challenging tasks, including extortion, badgering, gagging the freedom of speech and dismantling the Internet at any cost.

Disclaimer: This translation may not be correct to the letter, but I think it captures the essence of the ad pretty well. So, what are you waiting for? Send them your resume today and embark on a long and successful career of tyranny and terror.

CMX - what is it good for?

The music industry "axis of evil", Sony, Warner, Universal and EMI, are launching a new download format for albums, called CMX. What's wrong with MP3, you might ask. Well, for starters MP3-files don't include lyrics and music videos. But who really cares about that? Do a google search and find the lyrics you're interested in. And music videos? What is this, the 80's?

Most importantly, though, MP3-files don't include DRM, a computer virus that I'm convinced this new CMX-format will be infected by:

"Only playable on a Microsoft Windows computer with Internet Explorer 8 installed. Can only be installed on one computer at a time. We reserve the right to shut down our DRM-servers at any time, rendering your purchase useless".

Ooooh, I can't wait to waste my money on this. Not.